A letter from Wife after the death of husband
See your loved one in Court.
I hope against all hope that this mail is not for you and I am not going to meet your loved ones in court. This is a story of an unfortunate wife and I am pretty sure that it has got nothing to do with you or your family today or even tomorrow. But still, I want you to read this mail just to make sure that you are absolutely safe.
Just spare some 10 minutes in reading this mail to save your family from the torture of 10 years and expense running into lakhs. I am sure you love your family and so must be reading this. Reading itself is not important, mark a reply to me so that I am pretty sure you are out of danger and so is your family. Let's see how many of you do that, if not I will be smiling all the way waiting to see your loved one in court.
I met the author of this letter, the wretched wife, after the death of husband in court only a few months ago. Now, let me stop my gyan here and hear straight from the unfortunate author. The story of what she learnt from husband's death. Let;s call her Sonal.
"1. We always manifested to live together and live forever and felt that bad things are not going to hit us. But, alas, his death proved me wrong. I learnt when it hits, it hits very hard and can only say, Life is very unpredictable, be prepared for it always. "
2. My husband was an IT guy, all tech and me a chartered accountant, what an awesome combo, you may be thinking so we also thought, till not proven wrong. A tech guy means everything in mobile/palmtop, his to do list, e-bill, bank statements and what not.
3. He was so planned that he used to maintain a special folder of IMPWDS, containing all login id and passwords for all his online accounts. Laptop protected with password, all in alpha-numeric with a special character not an easy one to crack, alas this protection cost us hell. Firm believer in IT security and to keep accounts safe, he used to change the password every 30 days.
So every time I used his laptop, I will find a new password but never bothered to memorise it and will chill out by asking him, what is the new password, believing he is going to be there for me forever.
4.That's the story of my hubby, mine was another nightmare. Nothing was in place even being a Chartered Accountant. The precision we follow with our office documents and papers do not follow in our day to day home life. At the office we have to be epitome of Reliability/ Competent/Deligent etc but at home front there is always a tomorrow.
One fine morning my hubby expired in an accident. He was just 32. His laptop with all his data crashed. Everything on his hard disk was wiped off. No folder of IMPWDS to refer back to. His mobile with all the numbers on it was smashed. But that was just the beginning. I realised I had a lot to learn.
Nine years married to one of the best human beings with no kids just the two of us to fall back on but now I stood all alone and lost. Being a chartered accountant helped in more ways than one but it was not enough. I needed help. His savings bank accounts, his salary bank accounts had no nominee. On his insurance his mom was the nominee and it was almost 2 years back she had expired. But this was just a start. I didn;t know the password of his email account where all his e-bill came from. I didn;t know which expenses he paid by standing instructions.
5. His office front too was not easy. His department had changed recently. I didn't know his reporting boss name to start with when he had last claimed his shift allowance, his mobile reimbursement.
6.The house we bought with all the excitement on a loan through our joint salary could just afford the EMI. When the home loan guys suggested insurance on loan, we decided that instead of paying the premium the difference in the EMI on account of the insurance could be used to pay towards prepayment of the loan and get the tenure down. We never thought about what we would do if we had to live on a single salary. So now there was a huge EMI to look into. I realised I was in for a long haul.
7. Road accident cases, so everywhere needed a death certificate. FIR report, post mortem report. For everything there were forms running into pages indemnity bonds, notary, surety to stand up for you. No objections to certificates from your co-heirs.
8. I learnt that other than your house, land, your car, your bike there are other properties also. So what if you are the joint owner of the flat, you don't become the owner just because your hubby expired in the bike accident and you are the nominee. If the bike or car is in a repairable condition, you have to get the bike transferred in your name to claim the insurance.
9.That was again not easy. The bike or car can not be transferred in your name without going through a set of legal documents. Getting a succession certificate is another battle all together.
10.Then came the time you realise now you have to start changing all the bills, assets in your name. Your gas connection, electricity meter, your own house, your car, your investments and all sundries. And then change all the nominations where your own investments are concerned . And again start a new set of paperwork.
11.To say, I was shaken by life and it has just turned upside down is an understatement. You realise you don't have time to mourn and grieve for the person with whom you spent the best years of your life, Because you're busy sorting all the paperwork.
12. I realised then how much I took life for granted. I thought being a chartered accountant I am undergoing so many difficulties, what would have happened to someone who was a house maker who wouldn't understand this legal hotchpotch.
13. A sweet friend then told me dear this was not an end, you have no kids, your assets will be for all who stand to claim. After my hubby's sudden death, I realised it was time I took life more seriously . I now needed to make a will. I would have laughed a few months back if he had asked me to make one. But now life has taken a twist.
14. Lessons learnt this hard were meant to be shared. After all, why should the people whom we love the most suffer after we are no more. Sorting out some paperwork before we go will at least ease some of their grief. So let's do it now, are you ready guys.
1. Check all your nominations....it's a usual practice to put a name (i.e in the first place if you have mentioned it) and royally forget about it. Most of us have named our parents as a nominee for investments, bank accounts opened before the marriage. We have not changed the same even years after they are no longer there with us. Even our salary account usually has no nomination. Kindly check all your nominations today and now and drop a reply that you are a champion, leaving nothing to chance @ firstname.lastname@example.org
Fixed Deposit, NSC
Insurance (Life, bike or car or Property}
PF Pension Forms
We have passwords for practically everything. Email accounts, Bank accounts, even for the laptop you use.What happens.when your next of kin cannot access any of these simply because they do not know your password. Put it down on paper.
Every year for tax purposes we do investment. Do we maintain an excel sheet about if. If so, is it one the same laptop of which the password you had not shared. Where are these physical investment hard copies?
Make a Will. I know you will smile even if I would have if not gone through all the above. It would have made my life a lot easier with a lot less paperwork. I Would have to provide an indemnity bond, get it notarised, aske surety to stand up, no objections certificates from others and what not.
When you take a loan say for your house or car. Check out all. What if I am not there tomorrow, what if I lose my job, Will the EMI still be in my range. If not, get an insurance on the laon. The people left behind will not have to worry about something as basic as their own house.
My battles have just begun. but let us at least try and make a few changes so that our loved ones would not suffer after we are not there. We do not know what will happen in the future. But as the Scout motto goes: "Be prepared."
NEVER TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED . DO THINGS APPROPRIATE FOR THE ONES WHO DEPEND ON YOU WHOM YOU LOVE.
NOTE: THIS IS A REAL INCIDENT AND NOT JUST A FORWARD.
Please read at least 3 times. We are spending lots of time on TV and mobiles, pro modi and anti modi debate, movies etc. Please spare 15 minutes for your loved one.
Please forward it to your loved one, your friends and family.
Family management is not only cooking+clening + taking care of the dependents but also involves complex operational knowledge of finances...
The above message is a must for every family member.
It's not an end to waiting for my next mail on the same, telling you some more hard truth. Make sure my mail hits you in your inbox. Subscribe to it by clicking on www.ajaykr.com/subscribe, Download free Will Writing Format from my website: www.4cSupremelaw.com.
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